


Secret Meetings

by kikibug13



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Canonical Character Madness, F/F, kink prompt, this story does not have a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 22:04:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6168349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kikibug13/pseuds/kikibug13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Theodosia Burr was seventeen years of age when it all started.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secret Meetings

Theodosia Burr was seventeen years of age when it all started.

She walked into the drawing room of their host, on her father's arm, their smile mirroring each other in their brightness. The sound that washed over her was not the quiet conversation that she expected, but instead the liquid tones of a piano, played swiftly and somehow sweetly by an expert hand. Only a few steps in and her smile widened a notch. 

Whoever was playing just had to be absolutely charming, to do it like that. (Even at seventeen, she checked her own thought. It was probably an aging man with an ague, fat jowls, and sagging breeches, but she could indulge in a fantasy for a few more moments, couldn't she?) 

A few more steps and-- 

Well, she should have guessed that it wouldn't be a gentleman. Of _course_ the party would be entertained by a lady. A young lady, at that, delicate, artificially arranged ringlets bouncing near her jawline as she looked from one hand to another, checking her position. Then she smiled, tilting her chin up and-- 

A jolt went through Theodosia as dark eyes met hers, the smile and the pretty face nothing to the intensity of the girl's attention. Precise notes stuttered, only for a moment, before skilled fingers picked them back up again - the young pianist ducked her head, her focus on the music again, or maybe trying to hide the ruddy tinge to her dark cheeks. (She would look so pale next to Theodosia herself. Theo wanted to press a hand against that cheek, feel the gentle curve, see the contrast of their skins...) 

Her father was leading her in towards their hosts, and Theo didn't resist. 

 

They ran into each other in the garden, the warm twilight rich with the scent of lilacs. Theo hadn't meant them to run into each other, even as she had no objections. Even less so had she meant for them to run into each other with nobody else around. 

"Oh." Her voice sounded like her singing might be interesting, too, and Theo needed to take a deep breath to steady herself, instead of losing herself in fantasy. 

"You play very beautifully."

"Thank you." She didn't duck her head this time, and the thanks were not at all shy. 

"You must be used to the compliments."

The short curls bounced a little as she shook her head. "Oh, no. I mean, everyone at home is very generous with them, but I don't think it takes any getting used to recognize somebody trying to flatter me from somebody who actually appreciated the music..."

Theo laughed, a sound that didn't often come out, except for when she was reading something diverting. People didn't do that, but she was. She was happy, just here, talking with this girl with her slightly slanted eyes, and that was so absurd. So impossible. They didn't even know each other's names. 

Which. 

Theo offered her hand, and it was caught even before she spoke, an ink-stained thumb caressing her knuckles in a way that made her voice just a touch husky. "Theodosia Burr."

The thumb stilled on her hand, then resumed its motion, a little slower. The wide, rich mouth twisted a little, but the dark eyes, even darker in the falling night, didn't stray from hers. "We probably should not do that." Deep breath, as though bracing herself. "Angelica Hamilton. But... you may call me Angie, if you want." 

_Oh._ Theo's breath caught as her brain spun, furiously. She could withdraw her hand, turn, and walk back inside. She could never see this girl again, never hear her beautiful piano staccato again, if she were to only ask her father. He'd know who was invited where. 

Instead, she licked her lips. "Only if you will call me Theo."

 

She did not ask her father. She did not start corresponding with Angie, not regularly, at least. There were a few notes exchanged, ones that nobody could think anything particular about - and definitely not about velvety lips locking together, fingers in curls and hastily straightening each other back up again, before they returned to the candlelight. 

Now that she knew Angie, she realized that they'd probably been running into each other for months, because they certainly ran into each other a lot now, in clothes shops and book shops and as guests at parties. Angie's dancing left something to be desired when it came to technique and practice, but her smile made up for that. Her reading choices were not quite as wide-ranging as Theo's own, but she didn't seem to be limited to what a young lady 'ought' to read, either. 

Breathless kisses between shelves of books, fingers brushing over one another as they fingered the same muslin, keeping each other's eye instead of their dancing partners' - these were all things that built up to a brittle tension that was too sweet to turn her back on, and yet impossible to live with, either. 

It was at one of those dinners when they snuck together upstairs to one of the guest bedrooms, locking the door behind them and muffling their nervous laughter against each other's lips. 

Angie was a little younger. 

Angie's fingers were as good on Theo's skin as on the keys of the piano. Her voice was as good at gasping as Theo had imagined it in song. They didn't make it to the bed, driving each other beyond any hope for reason (as if doing any of this in the first place showed any sign of _that_ ) until they sank against the rich carpet, holding each other close through the aftermath of pleasure. 

"I want to see all of you." 

"I know. Do you think we could ever..."

"I don't know. Maybe at the place of somebody one of us knows closely, where we can take longer, and maybe rely on somebody to help us lace ourselves back in..."

Heavy sigh. 

"But even without that, I have an idea to try, next time."

 

Next time, their reading paid off. Besides fingers, they had lips and tongues, and Theo's back arched like she didn't know it could have, with the full dress on, as she shuddered through too much pleasure.

 

"... I don't think I've ever seen you pouting, before."

"I'm not pouting. Mom says it doesn't look good on Pa and we certainly shouldn't take up his example." 

"Angie." 

"What?" 

"You were brilliant in there." Theo used one of the blossoms to caress Angie's cheek, knowing that they couldn't be seen, at least not right this moment. "What's wrong?" 

For a moment, she thought the answer wouldn't come, but then the familiarly artificial ringlets bounced against Angie's chin with the head-shake. "It's nothing. It'll sound like I don't like being at the piano, while I _do_ , but..."

"But what?" 

"That Reel I played? It is a slightly changed one, and I don't even properly know how to dance the usual one. I mean, it's always like that. I don't... I don't know how to dance very well, is all."

Theo was blinking. "I can help with that."

By this point, Angie was leaning against her, sagging, really, although still stupidly ladylike and graceful, how could she always do that? How could she do that and not realize how easily it would translate into dance, especially with her clear feeling for both rhythm and melody? but she leaned back to peer up at Theo. "Hmm?" 

"I, mm. I've studied a lot of dancing." She kind of winced, it didn't usually come between them, the part where her daddy had money, or at least he'd used to have a lot of it, and Mr. Hamilton... well, she knew Angie's family wasn't starving, but it was not the same. "Anyway. I can teach you the dances, if you want."

"... really?" 

"Definitely." Pause. "I mean, not out here, that will be strange. But when we get an upstairs room to ourselves." 

Okay, maybe her heart wasn't supposed to make this flip-flop when Angie smiled like that. Nor her mouth go dry like this. But it was kind of late to change either, wasn't it? Except the twinkle in Angie's eyes just made it better. 

"Hmm. Before or after what we usually do when we have that?"

Theo choked, then tried to muffle that against Angie's shoulder, and even so, revelled in the sensation of the thin, strong arms around her. 

"... Before. Some of the dances will probably make it better."

It was Angie's turn to choke a bit, and the two of them spent the rest of the party giggling whenever they met each other's eyes in the middle of the crowd.

 

They were tangled up together on top of covers they would need to straighten up before they made it back to the revel - and it was a revel tonight, unlike most of the times they got to meet - and Angie's eyelids were heavy after their earlier enjoyment of each other, the eyes beneath them still both dark and bright at the same time. Theo's fingers played with the edges of her hair, her lips tracing the inside of the younger woman's elbow, and Angie hummed a question. 

Theo smiled. "I was just thinking how... I know this is all we can get, all things considered, but sometimes I wish I could see you when your hair isn't curled yet, when you haven't yet put on your party face. When you're not thinking about the next thing you get to play in front of everyone, because we both know you'll get asked for just one more piece, and just. When you're not yet... pretending, for the world."

After a moment, Angie sighed. 

"I... know what you mean, but... I'm not sure you actually do. It's just - at home, when my hair is drying off, when it's straight as Mom's, only darker. When I'm practicing and practicing, or bandying verses with Philip, or resolving disputes between William and John before they turn into fights, I'm... I'm a daughter and a sister, and those are full-time things, you know? Nothing is like this. Nothing is like being with you, like being just... Angie."

"So this is enough for you?" 

Angie hesitated, her lips pursing a little tighter. "Not sure. I mean, I can wish for what we can't have, a little, but I can't let myself want it." She turned her face, shifting a little so she could press a kiss to Theo's forehead, then her cheek. "It's enough because I wouldn't know how to breathe as myself if I didn't have it. It's enough because it's so infinitely more than not having it." Beat. 

"You?" 

Theo considered the question, then one bare shoulder shrugged, gently. "I don't think I could ever have enough of you, Angelica Hamilton."

 

She was coming in from the garden when she caught her father's eye, and her color, already high in her cheeks from kisses stolen in the middle of the garden, where people _might_ have seen them, rose even more. Theo was so glad for her dark skin, because if she were pale like their hostess tonight, for example, her cheeks would be so brightly red that they'd look like they'd been slapped. 

"Theo." Aaron's Burr's voice was always praised for its smoothness, but it was never as tender as when he talked to, or of, his daughter. Theo's heart melted a little - there were a few things that she could never doubt, in this world, and her father's love was decidedly one of those. 

"D--" Okay, they were in public, and her smile dimpled as she corrected herself, "Father."

"Is everything alright? You seem a little... agitated." 

Theo shook her head, her hair flying by her ears. "Oh, no, all is well, father. I just had a very stimulating book discussion," the words didn't trip on the tongue, because they were _true_ , she and Angie had actually been talking about the latest books that Theo had recommended - they couldn't exactly exchange books, not when they didn't actually know when and where they would run into each other, but Theo could recommend them, and Angie's parents didn't seem to object to her picking different volumes than usual to read, so they could sneak off a bit of time talking about their impressions on those - but she knew what she'd said was misleading. 

Her father seemed to catch a little of that, and frowned, just a tiny bit. "Is that all there was?" 

Theo dipped her head. "Yes, daddy." Quietly. That was all there could be. She knew he was asking if somebody had been trying to take advantage of her, to dizzy her head and steal away her proper behavior, marriageable behavior. He wanted her well married, for his own reasons, that was true, but for her sake, as well. He did not want her disgraced, spurned by society, or an old spinster. And she agreed with him. She knew what was possible, and what wasn't. 

What she and Angie were doing, what she and Angie were sharing. They both knew nobody else could know. They both knew it was all there could be. So she didn't even think an additional apology in the direction of her - of her _Angie_ , when she raised her eyes to meet her father's. "That's all." 

He watched her for another long moment, before he nodded, his smile inching just a little closer to his eyes, and he reached, petting her head as he always did. "Good. You'll tell me if that leads you to any new ideas with regard to your current reading, won't you?" 

"Oh, I wouldn't dream of not doing that!" Perfectly, easily honest. 

Neither felt the need to reopen the subject on their carriage ride home. 

 

One evening, the hostess was so delighted by her newly arrived royal piano - it was, indeed, a beautiful instrument, even if the incrustations were a bit over the top - that she insisted the, as she said, two most accomplished players show the instrument off to the guests together. Theo's eyes met Angie's, and she shrugged in answer to the arched eyebrow. She was good, just not quite as good as Angie, and she'd never quite made herself available when their hosts were arranging the requests - not after hearing Angie that first night. 

Soon, they were sitting side by side on the small bench, heads bent together in quiet conference over the available music, and also what they both knew. 

They played three pieces together. 

The first one started slowly, the two of them testing each other and the piano both. By the middle of it, they settled in a comfortable pace, the audience captivated and the playing itself pleasant, especially by Angie's side. 

It was in the beginning of the second piece that Angie pushed a little. Just a little. Slight speeding up of her tempo, experimenting if Theo would keep up, then slowing down. Theo managed not to laugh out loud, and experiment on her own. Pushing and pulling, racing and slowing - it was like the dancing lessons they had, the ones that no other partner could match, and Theo knew that for a fact. 

It was the third one, though, that started hard and fast and loud, the two of them in each other's space, and the pacing sweet and hard and erratic. 

It was like the two of them making love, almost, right in front of everyone's eyes, in the center of everyone's attention, secret and intoxicating, in plain sight. Theo's chest was heaving, and Angie's breath was hitching when she could take it. Her hands, with the final notes, were trembling, even though the sweet smile was there beneath glassy eyes. 

Angie thanked her, voice clear and true as always, and stood up, only to stumble a couple of steps away. Her oldest brother caught her, letting her lean against him as he praised how good that had sounded, how brilliant a sister he had, and took her off to take care of her. Angie threw one look over her shoulder, her smile, this time, just for Theo. 

 

Tragedy struck with the onset of winter, later. Theodosia saw the news in the paper, and she worried, but they did not correspond, so other than a short note of condolences, she could not do much. It was months before the Hamiltons were seen anywhere in public again, and there was something haunted in Angie's eyes, above the smile as sweet as it had ever been. 

They found privacy in the attic, cuddled together against the lingering chill. Angie whispered to her poetry, words that Theo thought would be seared against her soul forever. 

Lips against her pulse, in the aftermath of all, as they were about to get ready to rejoin the party, the words that chilled her came. "Theo? Have you seen my brother recently? He hasn't been home in a while, and I think it's making Mom and Pa very sad. You have more time downtown, please tell him to come home, if you run into him. If he only comes back home, everything will be all right."

 

Theodosia Burr was nineteen years of age when it ended, and her tears were as well hidden from the world as her joy had been.

**Author's Note:**

> Written inspired by [this](http://ham-kink.dreamwidth.org/937.html?thread=12457#cmt12457) ham-kink prompt, even though it doesn't quite cover it. 
> 
> The actual beginning of sexual relationship is vague, so if you squint right, it might be after Angie's turned sixteen (September of 1800, Theo turned seventeen in June of the same year). I'm still putting the Underage warning up, for the potential to squint at it the other way, or for those for whom sixteen is still too young.
> 
> Many thanks to [evocates](http://archiveofourown.org/users/evocates) for encouragement and beta!


End file.
